Friday, April 1, 2016

Movie Musicals That Got It Wrong: Love Never Dies (Revisited)

After completing my review of Love Never Dies, despite finding the Australian production boring, I became curious about the original London cast recording.  So I wasted perfectly good money in order to have a listen, and came to develop a rather twisted fascination with the recording, and the musical as a whole.  Not fascination as in I suddenly found it good, but in that I wondered how it could have been made less bad.

It turns out that the Australian version is, in many ways, a significant improvement over the original.  The original is a train wreck.  That being said, it contained some interesting nuggets, and provided for some interesting contrasts, which I've detailed below.

1.  In my last review, I complained that Christine was "so passive, it's insulting," but remarkably, the Love Never Dies Australian production actually gives her more spine than she had in the original London production.  In the original production, when Christine first sees the Phantom, she expresses some feeble outrage, but doesn't really seem too angry.  By contrast, Christine in the Australian production gets genuinely angry, accusing the Phantom of telling "one final lie to fool us all."

Likewise, after the Phantom learns that Gustave is his son, Christine apologizes for having caused him "nothing but woe."  Apologizes to the man who kidnapped and manipulated her in the original, and who continues to manipulate her.  One of the best improvements made by the Australian production* was to have the Phantom be the one to apologize.  It remains one of the few highlights in the musical.

* Though it was actually introduced while Love Never Dies was still in London, judging from this clip (cut to 6:36).

2.  The original London production engages in the worst sort of victim blaming not only by faulting Christine for making the "wrong" choice, but also by laying the tragic outcome of Love Never Dies at the feet of Madame Giry.  In the beginning, Miss Fleck sneers, "That's the place that you ruined, you fool!  That's the world you destroyed with your greed!"  Yes, how dare Madame Giry feel unappreciated after working her tail off for 10 years to help the Phantom rise to power, only to see him bequeath his entire fortune to a son he met five minutes ago?  Of course it was her fault that after Christine's death, the Phantom burned down Phantasma and disappeared with Gustave.  Certainly none of it had to do with the fact that her boss was a selfish asshole who was also crazy as fuck.

3.  The original London production, I think, does a better job establishing Phantasma and providing more details about the last ten years than the Australian production with two segments: the opening Prologue and "Heaven By the Sea."  The Prologue presents Phantasma as this almost dreamlike world where society's outcasts could feel at home, while "Heaven By the Sea" sets up how Phantasma was created and the mystery surrounding "Mister Y."  Both are much too long, and "Heaven By the Sea" is frequently obnoxious, but they do reveal interesting details about the size and scope of Phantasma (referred to as a "city of wonders"), which the Phantom somehow built in just one year.  No need for surveys or environmental studies, apparently.  In the Australian production, these numbers are cut, which makes for better flow in the first half, but also renders Phantasma's size and scope much more of a mystery.  The Phantom appears to be doing well since he can afford to pay double the amount Oscar Hammerstein offered Christine to sing.  But it's unclear whether Phantasma is still a "city of wonders," or just a big carnival.

4.  Having Phantasma so built up in the London production makes it that much more disappointing it didn't have more impact on the story.  It was essentially window dressing for a very banal obsession triangle (I won't call it "love").

5.  As the original London production provides more information about Phantasma, it also provides more information about the Girys' role in the Phantom's life, and in his rise.  In the "In Paris" song Madame Giry sings: "Who helped you buy that side show?  Who helped you finance your scheme?  Who wouldn't quit 'til your act was a hit and your hit could become your dream?  Who plied the politicians?  Lured investors and the press?  No, not her."  Much of that is cut in the Australian version.  Likewise, during Meg's breakdown scene, she sings: "Who helped you raise the money?  Who helped the permits come through?  Who greased the wheels of your high-flying deals, bought you time when the bills came due?  Who swayed the local bosses?  Curried favor with the press?  No, not her."  Geez, if the Girys did all that, it's a wonder they didn't move on at some point and create their own empire.  I liked getting these extra details and missed their presence in the Australian production.

That said, the Australian production made one major improvement by having Madame Giry sing the "In Paris" song to Meg instead of the Phantom.  It just seemed wrong to have Madame Giry lambasting the Phantom to his face for two minutes -- he would have punjab-lassoed her before she hit the minute mark.

6.  Meg is a more brittle, less likable character in the original London production, but at the same time, she seems to have more depth than her Australian counterpart.  And she has an American accent now, despite being as French as her mother, who's been in New York just as long.  But never mind that.  With the added details mentioned above, her fragile state is clearer and her breakdown less out of the blue.  Australian Meg is nicer and easier to sympathize with, but without the jaded ambition of the original Meg, her unraveling seems less organic, more like something that needed to happen in order to move the plot toward its climax.

7.  Original London Raoul is much nastier than his Australian counterpart.  He practically snarls his lines in "What a Dreadful Town," and constantly snaps at the bartender in "Why Does She Love Me?".  In "What a Dreadful Town," he can't even be bothered to talk directly to Gustave, snapping, "Please tell the boy the answer's no!" (versus "Gustave, enough.  The answer's no.").  Lloyd Webber and company did right by softening Raoul in the Australian version.  He seems more like the man Christine fell in love with, which makes her "choice" to sing that much harder, because it seems as though Raoul still genuinely loves her and if she left with him, things might be better.*

* That's assuming, of course, the Phantom made the bet in good faith and actually let Raoul leave unscathed.  I'm betting he'd have punjab-lassoed him before he left the island.

8.  In the original London version, the Phantom invites Christine to sing at Coney Island under the guise of "Mister Y."  Travel across the ocean to sing for a mysterious man with no last name who owns a theme park called Phantasma?  What could be suspicious about that?  Sold!  Whereas in the Australian version, it's Oscar Hammerstein who invites Christine and the Phantom intercepts her.  The change makes the Phantom seem more manipulative, but at the same time, Christine and Raoul seem far less gullible.

9.  Not only is the original London Phantom less manipulative, he's also less... Phantom.  He never kills and rarely threatens.  His voice is as calm and soothing as a masseuse's.  In the Australian production, the Phantom regains some of his menacing quality from The Phantom of the Opera, as he threatens to kidnap and possibly kill Gustave to force Christine to sing for him.  It was a good change, a reminder of just how awful the Phantom can be, but at the same time, it made Christine's ensuing actions more puzzling.  Why would she let Gustave wander away when his life was threatened, and why would she ever choose the man who threatened her son over Raoul?  Once the Phantom was made darker, Christine's actions should have been changed accordingly.  Unfortunately for Lloyd Webber, that probably would have meant Christine rejecting the Phantom a second time and leaving with her husband.  

10.  The one time the original London Phantom shows his darker side is in the "Gustave! Gustave!" number and it is so hilariously bad.  Let me start by saying no one, not even Satan himself, can seem menacing when he yells, "Mr. Squelch!".  Otherwise, in his desperation to find Gustave, the Phantom begins threatening people right and left, including a vow to tear Madame Giry "limb from limb."  If Love Never Dies had any depth, I would wonder whether at this point, Christine would have second thoughts about choosing the Phantom.

11. Another song that is much improved in the Australian production compared to the original is "Dear Old Friends."  It annoyed me initially because it felt redundant to have the Girys and Christine and Raoul meet after we've already been introduced to them, but I've come to appreciate the Australian version of the song.  It actually recalls that when Christine and Raoul parted from the Girys, it would have been on good terms.  In the original London version, Raoul and Madame Giry immediately snap at each other on first sight, as if their last interactions involved a bad business deal.  This was the woman who taught you to keep your hand at the level of your eye, Raoul!

12. Finally, the actors in this production must have learned their American accents from watching old Disney movies from the 1960s.  And a scene involving Meg and her fellow singers sounded like Ariel and her sisters from The Little Mermaid.  Disney: the only thing more ubiquitous than Lloyd Webber musicals.

13.  Something that you can't hear on the soundtrack: I mentioned the sets being better in the Australian version compared to London, but also better are the costumes.  What were they thinking with the original costumes?  The Phantom walking around with a mullet and his shirt collar open?  Christine a dowdy matron with 45-year-old hair?

Overall, while the Australian production is deeply flawed, and the original London production interesting, the Australian production is much better.  The original London production actually makes me dislike Sierra Boggess, and I loved her performance in The Phantom of the Opera.  In any event, maybe in a universe where a sequel wouldn't be revolting, with a couple more rewrites, Love Never Dies might be a worthwhile production.

The above images are used under the Fair Use Doctrine.

Sunday, February 28, 2016

Les Miserables: What Did I Choose for the Definitive Soundtrack?

For my articles about Les Miserables, I discussed the various positives and negatives of the different albums, at least five if you don't count the original French concept album and the movie soundtrack.  One reader asked me what album tracks I used to create my idea of the definitive Les Miz soundtrack.  I'll go through each track below, with an explanation as to why I chose it over the others.  Note that I created my "Ultra" version before the movie soundtrack was released, but I'll give some thoughts as to which of the movie tracks would be best suited for an "Ultra" version.

Overture/Work Song: Broadway Cast.  I use this album for a lot of the early Valjean tracks because I feel as though Wilkinson is in the best of voice here, though I suppose London would work as well.  While John Own Jones sounds great on the Les Miserables Live! album, I consider Wilkinson to be the definitive Valjean.

On Parole/The Bishop: Tenth Anniversary Cast.  This is the only cast that features Wilkinson singing this part, and I wanted it in for the sake of completeness.  A little ironic, since years later, this would be Wilkinson's biggest moment in the movie.

What Have I Done?: Broadway Cast. Wilkinson's voice sounds clean and strong here, whereas it sounds a bit foggy in the Tenth Anniversary Cast.

At the End of the Day: Tenth Anniversary Cast.  Note that if you use this version, the beginning is slightly cut off.  I chose it for the glorious Ruthie Henshall, whom I consider to be the definitive Fantine (apologies to Patti LuPone and Anne Hathaway).

I Dreamed a Dream: Tenth Anniversary Cast.  Ruthie Henshall sounds so sweet and sad.

Lovely Ladies: Broadway Cast.  Not sure why I chose this cast specifically, since there's nothing especially great about the rendition.  Maybe I just didn't care all that much.  No surprise, as this is one of my least-favorite songs.

Fantine's Arrest: Tenth Anniversary Cast.  I chose this one for completeness sake, and also because I love Phillip Quast's appearance and the way Ruthie says, "By a rat."  Note that the Les Miserables Live! album could work here as well, as that Fantine is really fierce in that moment.

The Runaway Cart: The Complete Symphonic Album.  This was chosen again for completeness, as no other album until Les Miserables Live! has this moment, and that one is abbreviated.  Still think Gary Morris sounds like a poor man's Colm Wilkinson, or like he's trying to be a poor man's Colm Wilkinson, but what can you do?

Who Am I?: Tenth Anniversary Cast.  This is one that I think could have been ably served by many of the albums, but I just flipped a coin and chose the Tenth Anniversary.

Fantine's Death: Tenth Anniversary Cast.  I love Ruthie's Fantine.  How could I not choose her version to be Fantine's death song?

The Confrontation: Tenth Anniversary Cast.  I chose this because it was the only one to have the definitive Valjean and the definitive Javert at each other's throats.

Castle on a Cloud: The Complete Symphonic Album.  Again, this was chosen for the sake of completeness, as it includes moments that aren't on other albums, or are at least abbreviated, such as Madame Thenardier yelling at Cosette and fussing over Eponine.  Otherwise, there's not much to recommend one version or the other.

Master of the House: The Complete Symphonic Album.  This one was also chosen for completeness, as it has an opening that cannot be found on other recordings.  If not for that, I probably would have chosen the Tenth Anniversary Cast again, as I cannot stand this version of Monsieur and Madame Thenardier.

The Bargain/The Waltz of Treachery: The Complete Symphonic Album.  Same reason as above.  Not until Les Miserables Live! did the Valjean song at the beginning appear on an album.  I think I cobbled my compilation together before I listened to Les Miserables Live!, or I might have chosen that version with John Owen Jones.  Though only this version has the full, charming "Lalalala" sequence with Valjean and Cosette, right before they cut to Paris.

Look Down:  The Complete Symphonic Album.  This was a tough one.  I would have chosen the Tenth Anniversary Cast, as it has my favorite Enjolras (Michael Maguire) and my favorite Marius (Michael Ball), but it's abbreviated, whereas this is the full version.  Anthony Warlow is in good voice here, even if his shouting is annoying.  The Les Miserables Live! has a good rousing version, too, but its Enjolras and Marius sound much weaker.

The Robbery/Javert's Intervention: The Complete Symphonic Album.  Again, this was due to completeness sake, as I don't really care about this song otherwise.  Always nice to hear Phillip Quast on any recording, though.

Stars: The Complete Symphonic Album.  I could have just as easily chosen the Tenth Anniversary Cast here, as it's Phillip Quast for both.  I could never pass over the chance to have him sing this number, though Earl Carpenter in the Les Miserbales Live! version is nearly as good.

Eponine's Errand: The Complete Symphonic Album.  Chosen for completeness and no other reason.  This isn't really a noteworthy song, and Kaho Shimada is not my favorite Eponine.

ABC Cafe/Red and Black/Do You Hear the People Sing: Tenth Anniversary Cast.  Chosen because it features my favorite Marius and Enjolras, as well as the "Lamarque is Dead" sequence, which is cut from albums like London and Broadway.  Maguire as Enjolras sounds better at times on the Broadway Cast album, but he acts believably excited and delivers a fiery, "They will come when we caaaaaaaaaaaaaaall!"

In My Life/A Heart Full of Love: Tenth Anniversary Cast.  Although Judy Kuhn sounds too vocally mature to be a teenage girl, she does have a really strong, nice voice, and manages to hold her own against Michael Ball.  No small feat, considering Ball's vocal power.

The Attack on Rue Plumet: Tenth Anniversary Cast.  I can't really bring myself to care about this number, and Valjean sounds stupid no matter who sings it.  But if I had to hear a Valjean, I'd rather hear Wilkinson than Morris. 

One Day More: Tenth Anniversary Cast.  It's a bit of a mystery why I chose this, as I actually think the Broadway Cast version is better.  I think because I wanted to hear Michael Ball's Marius in stead of David Bryant's.  Otherwise, I'd recommend the Broadway Cast version, with a stronger-sounding Wilkinson and Maguire, and Frances Ruffelle as Eponine.

At the Barricade (Upon These Stones): The Complete Symphonic Album.  Chosen for completeness, as it has the fullest version of this sequence.  Future albums would trim this section.

On My Own: Broadway Cast.  I'm on record stating that Frances Ruffelle is my favorite Eponine because she actually sounds like she lived in the streets, compared to whispery Kaho Shimada or clear-as-a-bell Lea Salonga.  I suppose the London Cast album would suit as well, but Ruffelle seems more passive in that version for some reason.

Back At the Barricade: Tenth Anniversary Cast. Chosen for completeness.  The Complete Symphonic Album probably would have served just as well.

Javert's Arrival/Little People: Tenth Anniversary Cast.  Again chosen for completeness sake.  The Complete Symphonic Album, again, would probably do just as well.  The only one that would not do is the London Cast, which has a whole "Little People" song.  Ugh.

A Little Fall of Rain: The Complete Symphonic Album.  It was a tough decision, as the version I like best is the Tenth Anniversary Cast one with Ball and Salonga.  I ended up choosing this one because it has the before sequence (with Marius's "Good God, what are you doing?") as well as the song.  The Les Miserables Live! version is pretty good as well, though I'm not as fond of Gareth Gates's Marius, or his sobbing.

Night of Anguish: Tenth Anniversary Cast.  Both Maguire and Ball sound good here. 'Nuff said.

First Attack: Tenth Anniversary Cast.  Chosen because the entire sequence is left off of most other albums, and this is the only version with Wilkinson.

Drink With Me: Tenth Anniversary Cast.  I love the Wilkinson-Quast confrontation at the beginning.  Otherwise, I could have chosen Broadway Cast version as well.  I really like Anthony Crivello as Grantaire -- he has a rich-sounding voice that could have easily been for the Enjolras role.

Bring Him Home: Tenth Anniversary Cast.  Another one where I could have chosen the Broadway Cast, or even London, as Wilkinson is apparently incapable of singing this song badly (gives Hugh Jackman the side eye).  If John Owen Jones is more your flavor, then substitute the Les Miserables Live! version.

Dawn of Anguish: The Complete Symphonic Album.  Chosen for completeness, as this sequence tends to be cut or trimmed down in most other recordings.  That said, damn it's depressing.

The Second Attack (Death of Gavroche): The Complete Symphonic Album.  This is probably the only decent version of Gavroche's death song.  London, Broadway, and the Tenth Anniversary don't have one at all, and the Les Miserables Live! version is significantly cut down.

The Final Battle: The Complete Symphonic Album.  I again chose this version for completeness, as I would otherwise have preferred Maguire singing: "Let us die facing our foes! Let them bleed while they can!"  I originally did choose the Tenth Anniversary Cast, but juxtaposed against the last song, the Death of Gavroche sounds so comically abrupt, I had to change it.  Anthony Warlow has a great voice as well, so if you're on Team Warlow, you wouldn't complain about having this version on your play list.

The Sewers: Tenth Anniversary Cast.  I think this and the Complete Symphonic Album are the only ones to have the full sequence (prior to the movie).  I think I flipped a coin and chose the Tenth Anniversary Cast because it flowed more seamlessly into the next song.

Dog Eat Dog: Tenth Anniversary Cast.  I'm not really fond of this song, but this features the Thenardier I dislike least, so there's that.

Javert's Suicide: Tenth Anniversary Cast.  This track begins with my favorite post-sewers confrontation between Valjean and Javert.  Wilkinson's Valjean sounds much stronger here than Morris's Valjean in the Complete Symphonic Album version.  Also, Phillip Quast sounds great both here and on the Complete Symphonic Album as he sings his death song, but I think he sounds better here.

Turning: Broadway Cast.  I'm not sure I chose this version, except that maybe I felt I was neglecting the Broadway Cast album.  Not a song I really care about.

Empty Chairs At Empty Tables: Tenth Anniversary Cast.  Pre-movie, there was no one better at playing Marius than Michael Ball, and he is in his best singing voice here.

Every Day/A Heart Full of Love: Tenth Anniversary Cast.  This is probably the least-annoying version that I've heard.  The Complete Symphonic Album Cosette sounds so, so annoying in this song.

Valjean's Confession: The Complete Symphonic Album.  This is the only album to have the full version, though Les Miserables Live! and the movie sound track come close.

The Wedding Chorale/Beggars At the Feast: The Complete Symphonic Album.  Again, I chose this for completeness, and because I really like hearing Ball's Marius confront the awful Thenardiers in this version.

Epilogue: Tenth Anniversary Cast.  Ruthie Henshall sounds tender, and Colm Wilkinson heart breaking.  There is no better version.

Well, as you can see, I heavily favor the Tenth Anniversary Cast and the Complete Symphonic Album in my compilation.  I don't listen to the London version all that often, so I can't really say whether any of those songs would be superior to the ones I chose.  Regarding the 25th Anniversary, since there's no soundtrack, I can't really choose.  I will say that I like Alfie Boe, but at least acting wise, he doesn't match Wilkinson or Owen Jones.  Ramin Karimloo as Enjolras sounds great, but he bears the misfortune of having to share many of his songs with Nick Jonas.

As for the movie soundtrack, are there any songs from there that would be at home on my play list?  It depends on whether you care about pure singing excellence or emotion.  If the latter, I would say the songs that would fit best would be:

  • Hugh Jackman's "What Have I Done?"
  • Anne Hathaway's "I Dreamed a Dream" (duh) 
  • "Paris/Look Down"
  • Samantha Barks's "On My Own"
  • The Death of Gavroche"
  • The Final Battle"
  • Eddie Redmayne's "Empty Chairs At Empty Tables"  
  • "Valjean's Confession"
But ultimately, the fun of making a compilation of tracks from different albums is testing and choosing for yourself.  Hopefully I've given some people food for thought.

The above image is used under the Fair Use Doctrine. 

Saturday, January 16, 2016

Movie Musicals That Got It Wrong: Love Never Dies

This is a bit of a cheat, I admit.  Andrew Lloyd Webber's Love Never Dies is not a proper movie musical.  Rather, the cinematic version of this sequel to The Phantom of the Opera is merely a filmed performance of the stage musical.  However, having done such an in-depth review of Phantom, I can't pass this one by.

Often, the stage musical is filmed after a botched attempt at adapting it to the screen, to demonstrate how the musical is supposed to be.  Such was the case with the Final Performance of Rent, and the 25th Anniversary performance of The Phantom of the Opera.  Other times, the stage musical is filmed so that those who likely will never be able to see it live can still see what it's about.  That's likely the case with Love Never Dies, which won't be arriving on Broadway any time soon.

It almost feels cruel to kick a musical when it's down.  The critical shredding of Love Never Dies has been universal.  Most of it is of the nature of "You really thought The Phantom of the Opera needed a sequel?  Where this time, Christine stays with the Phantom?  That's fucked up!"  However, much of it focused on the musical's many drawbacks.  Some called it Love Should Die or --more damning-- Paint Never Dries.

Lloyd Webber came up with the idea of a Phantom sequel as early as 1990, but didn't start working on it in earnest until 2007.  Originally intended to debut simultaneously in London, New York, and Shanghai, Love Never Dies shut down after nine months in London due to poor reviews and never premiered in the other two cities.  Instead, it was reworked and premiered in Melbourne, Australia, where one of the performances was filmed.  The filmed performance then aired in select U.S. cinemas and was otherwise released on DVD.  Hence, we have Love Never Dies: The Movie.  Love Never Dies is still playing here and there, and it's even rumored to be headed to the U.S. for a tour.

Viewed as a separate piece, Love Never Dies isn't bad.  It's muddled, dark, and lacks humor, but it has some creative set pieces, lovely costumes, and great singing (a must).  Viewed as a sequel to The Phantom of the Opera, it's a "disaster beyond your imagination."


Plot Synopsis

The year is 1905, 10 years after the events of Phantom (despite Phantom clearly taking place much earlier than 1895).  After the Paris Opera House fire, the Phantom was smuggled by Madame Giry and her daughter, Meg, across the ocean to New York, where he established Phantasma, an amusement park on Coney Island.  Despite Meg and Madame Giry's every attention, he pines for Christine, now married to Raoul with a 10-year old son named Gustave.

When the Phantom learns that Christine is coming to New York to sing at the opening of a new opera house, he lures her and her family to Coney Island with the desire to have her sing for him once more.  It is revealed that Christine's marriage to Raoul is difficult, with Raoul drinking and gambling away all of their money.  Meanwhile, Gustave reveals heightened musical gifts, and the Phantom determines that he could be the result of a brief tryst with Christine the night before her wedding.

Will Christine refuse to sing and leave with Raoul, or will she finally choose to stay with the Phantom?  


The Good

Singing Performances.  If the performances had been bad, this would have been a merciless review.  Instead, the performances are quite good for the most part.  Ben Lewis and Anne O'Byrne took over the roles of the Phantom and Christine from Ramin Karimloo and Sierra Boggess (best known for their performance in the 25th Anniversary of Phantom), and both are of excellent voice.  Lewis can't quite bring the unhinged quality to the Phantom that Karimloo evoked so effortlessly, but no matter.  Simon Gleeson is good as Raoul, letting his humanity show when it's too late, but is underused.

The most impressive performance may be that of young Jack Lyall as Gustave.  Child performers are so hit and miss in musicals, and to its credit, Love Never Dies requires a performance that's at least decent -- no trotting on stage to sing a few cutesy lines and then die, like Gavroche in Les Miserables.*  Lyall meets this challenge while singing with the voice of an angel.  Enjoy being able to hit those high notes while it lasts, kid.


No one gives a bad performance except perhaps Maria Mercedes as Madam Giry, making the character too shrill and hammy.

Production Design (Mostly).  Love Never Dies received a production design revamp between London and Melbourne, and it really makes a difference.  Compare the London staging for "Beauty Underneath" to the Melbourne staging.  The London staging is so flat and cheap looking, it's difficult imagining anyone finding it "beautiful."  The Melbourne staging feels more vast and multi-dimensional.

While it can be tough to truly judge from a filmed version with constantly shifting camera angles, the Melbourne production looks as lavish as that of Phantom, albeit much darker.  So much darkness can sometimes be a drawback -- the reason it worked in Phantom was because there was a balance between the dark and brightly lit scenes.


The costumes are also excellent and quite a feast for the eye with their color and period accuracy.  (Though I don't know if in 1905, Raoul would have worn a top hat anywhere but to a black tie affair, quibble-quibble.)

Some of the Music and Songs.  It's Lloyd Webber at his most Lloyd Webberiest, which means that the music is frequently lush sounding and grandiose, and sometimes inspired.  There are several nice melodies, including for "Beautiful," "Beneath a Moonless Sky," and, of course, "Love Never Dies."  The song lyrics seem sharper than in Phantom, though that's clearing a very low bar.


While several of the songs are good enough, none stands out like "The Phantom of the Opera" or "Music of the Night."  The best are probably "Love Never Dies" (though I think I liked it better as "The Heart Is Slow to Learn") and "Beauty Underneath."  The latter has become a favorite of mine largely because with its rapid rock energy, it is the most like "The Phantom of the Opera," and features angel-voiced Gustave to boot.  That said, it's a little creepy that Gustave and the Phantom would sing about finding trapped creatures in glass cones beautiful.

* Though Gavroche's role demanded more in the earlier versions of Les Miz when there was a turntable and we could watch him die.  Grrrr.


The Bad

The Characters.  Oh Where to Begin?  Love Never Dies makes sense only if you consider it Lloyd Weber's homage to fanfiction.  As Lindsay Ellis notes in her two-part examination of Phantom of the Opera, once the Phantom lets Christine go, their story is over.  There's no need for a sequel.  Christine would probably never see the Phantom again, and if he resurfaced at all, it would be in the spirit of leaving a rose on her grave, like in the final moments of the 2004 filmed version.

But in the world of fanfiction, Christine can stay behind with the Phantom, who is like sooooo much better than Raoul.  Countless fanfics must portray this exact scenario.  In his two-hour homage to fanfiction, Lloyd Weber does what is necessary for such a situation to work: he completely changes the Phantom's personality.  And everyone else's.


Lest we forget, the Phantom is supposed to be shockingly ugly and disturbed.  Yet in Love Never Dies, the Phantom hardly even appears deformed.  Lewis's Phantom looks virile and handsome, and Karimloo's Phantom goes even further in the sexy department, escorting Gustave around in a tight-fitting open-collared shirt.

The Phantom in Love Never Dies isn't a deranged, angry misanthrope, but a morose, respectable businessman.  The transformation is so great that I can't even view them as same character.  Therefore, the Phantom in Love Never Dies isn't Erik to me, but Rick.  Somehow, in the 10 years after Phantom, Rick learned how to function in society.  He's still a creepy, controlling asshole, but in a Bruce Wayne in his bat lair kind of way.

Erik spoke in riddles, threatening and murdering people right and left.  Rick tries to save lives, pleading: "Give me the gun, Meg."  No, really.  The Phantom is suddenly a suicide counselor.

Erik selfishly manipulated Christine and outright kidnapped her.  Rick... well, he kind of does that, too.  But because he's sexier and more respectable now, he's sooooo much better than Raoul and is a worthy mate for Christine and father to Gustave.  And of course, perfect, talented Gustave can only be Rick's kid because even Raoul's sperm sucks.


That's a long way of saying that if Lloyd Webber was going to pull off this type of sequel, he really needed a story bridging the gap, explaining the transformation.  Of course we'll never get one, so we're left to wonder what the hell happened to everyone since Phantom.

We're supposed to believe that Madame Giry, who was always wary of the Phantom, would become so obsessively devoted to him that she'd not only smuggle him to New York City, she'd launch his business empire.  We're supposed to believe that the woman who considered Christine like a daughter (at least in the 2004 movie version) would plot against her.

Then there's Raoul.  I know the creation of Love Never Dies pre-dates the 25th Anniversary performance of Phantom, but it's as if Lloyd Webber looked at Hadley Fraser's douchebag spin on Raoul and said: "Yep, that's him!"  Raoul in both the novel and Phantom was kind and brave, and definitely showed no signs of a drinking problem.  But to make the Phantom seem sooooo much better, Lloyd Webber reduced him to a snobby, selfish drunk who is ruining his family.  It's to the credit of Simon Gleeson that despite this, I still felt more for Raoul at the end than the Phantom.


And call me crazy, but I'm fairly certain Christine was in love with Raoul when she left with him, no?  Not that she entered marriage with him reluctantly and was secretly pining for the Phantom the whole time.

Yes, about Christine.  In Phantom, while she was intrigued by Erik, pitied him, and thrilled to his melodies, she was never in love with him.  It was Raoul she sang "All I Ask of You" with, not the Phantom.  She was afraid of him:
Raoul, I'm frightened.
Don't make me do this.
Raoul, it scares me.
Don't put me through this
Ordeal by fire.
He'll take me, I know.
We'll be parted forever.
He won't let me go.
What I once used to dream
I now dread.
If he finds me, it won't ever end.
When the Phantom finally stole her down to his lair, she said:
The tears I might have shed
For your dark fate
Grow cold, and turn to
Tears of hate.
If there's love there, or yearning for sex, it is very deeply hidden.  Very deeply hidden.  As in non-existent.  Yet Lloyd Webber would have us believe that soon after she sang these words, she decided she was hot for Phantom after all.  It robs Christine of whatever maturity she achieved in The Phantom of the Opera, which is unfortunate, given what a passive character she is otherwise.

Overall, the taint of Love Never Dies leaves no original character untouched, except for Meg Giry, and only because she had no real character to begin with.


And might I add how odd it is that Rick's business Phantasma deals with carnival sideshows?  Given that Erik grew up as part of a sideshow, only to abandon that world for the Paris opera house, it seems unlikely he would want to return, much less sing "my world is beautiful."  Erik in Phantom didn't want to create gargoyles.  He was the gargoyle.  He wanted to create beautiful music that would enthrall the people above, and stayed beneath the opera house so he could hide his deformed self from the world.  But I digress.

Story??  Let's pretend that Love Never Dies is salvageable.  What would make it better?  To start, it might have made more sense to tell the story from Christine's point of view, as was done in Phantom.  We would begin with her family traveling to New York, where Christine would reflect upon her life and wonder what lay in store.  The mysteries of Phantasma would unfold for both her and the audience at the same time.  Instead, we meet the Phantom and the Girys before Christine, so that when Christine meets them, the audience is doing it for the second time.

At least telling the story from Christine's perspective might have given her something approaching an active role.  Here, she's so passive it's offensive.  In her very first scene, despite being the one addressed by the press, she doesn't say a single word for three minutes, except "Gustave."  The scene makes clear that her true purpose in Love Never Dies is to serve as the vessel to unite Gustave with his father.  Gustave is the one who gets to voice his hopes and dreams as they enter the carriage bound for Phantasma.  A better, if not necessarily good, musical might have emerged had the story been about a more mature Christine overcoming the Phantom's abuse once and for all.


Instead, Love Never Dies is told more from the Phantom's perspective.  We're supposed to root for him as he sets a trap for Christine when she reaches New York.  We're supposed to sympathize as he threatens to withhold her son unless she sings for him.  Sorry, I don't find manipulation and abuse sexy.

So you're left with a boring, asshole Phantom and Christine the posable doll.  That doesn't compel the viewer to care about their fate.  Christine is such a pointless character that after she's shot, no one makes any attempt to staunch the blood or take her to a hospital.  Once she's fulfilled her purpose of uniting her crotch dumpling with his true father, she's free to die.


Other aspects of the story also underwhelm.  We get hints of scandalous things the Girys, especially Meg, had to do to finance Phantasma, but they are so marginalized, they never become their own plotline.

Everything in Love Never Dies is shallow, shallow, shallow.  Even Phantasma underwhelms.  What might have been an intriguing character in the musical never feels fully developed.  But I guess that's no surprise.

No Humor.  I tend to prefer dramedies, so I don't usually clamor for humor.  But boy, did this musical need some.  Phantom's humor might have seemed forced -- how much ridiculous Carlotta did we need? -- but at least it existed to balance out the darker aspects of the story.  Without humor, the story for Love Never Dies feels too leaden and self important.  The viewer really needs something to make fun of -- otherwise, it might end up being the aspects we were supposed to take seriously. 

It's Boring.  That may be the greatest knock against it of all.  If Love Never Dies was at least fun, it could be a compulsive viewing experience.  Instead it plods from one leaden, self important scene to the next.  When Christine reunites with the Phantom for the first time, they sing for such a long, monotonous stretch that I was in danger of dozing before it ended.  Paint Never Dries indeed.   


Conclusion

If you like Andrew Lloyd Webber at his emptiest and most grandiose, if you like pretty costumes and lavish sets, and if you think Christine should have always ended up with the Phantom, Love Never Dies is for you.  If you were satisfied with The Phantom of the Opera and felt it needed no sequel, Love Never Dies will drive you to drink.

You can purchase it at Amazon.com to view the carnage, or find it somewhere on YouTube.


The above images were used under the Fair Use Doctrine.